Asian & AAPI Mental Health in NYC | Trauma-Informed, Queer-Affirming Therapy
Therapy where you don’t have to leave parts of yourself at the door
You've built a life that looks put-together from the outside: career, responsibilities, maybe even a reputation for having it all together, being the friend that other people can rely on, the “rock” of your family. But something beneath the surface is tired. You're exhausted from managing alone, from being strong, from holding everything so others don't have to. Part of you just wants the heaviness to lift. Another part wonders if it's finally okay to ask for support.
I’ve been there, and I work with Asian and Asian American clients who have learned to shut themselves down and handle everything on their own in order to survive. Reaching out for therapy can feel scary, especially if you’re used to being the one who doesn’t get to fall apart. It can feel even scarier when therapy hasn’t always felt like a space built with you, your culture, or your family dynamics in mind.
Maybe you’ve tried therapy before and found yourself spending more time educating your therapist than actually receiving support: explaining how the idea of “just set boundaries” doesn’t translate cleanly in your family, how anger and stuckness show up in your body, or how a tired sense of shutting down has become so frequent you don’t even notice it anymore. You might notice yourself going still or numb when you get close to talking about your needs. You might feel like there isn’t really room for your full self in the ways you’ve been taught to be a “good” daughter, son, child, or sibling.
Unpacking the model minority myth and making room for all of your emotions
For many Asian and Asian American clients I work with, challenging the model minority myth feels dangerous, like a threat to safety, belonging, or love. You might be afraid of letting your family down or betraying them by talking honestly about how they make you feel. You may worry that naming what hurts means you’re being ungrateful or disrespectful. At the same time, you might be feeling like you’re about to explode, feeling angry and frustrated as you realize just how much you’ve been silently carrying.
Often, people I see are teetering between what feels like two extremes: wanting to keep the peace and never rock the boat, and wanting to burn it all down because you’re so tired of being the one who absorbs everything. Grief, anger, numbness, and burnout are understandable responses to racism, migration, family expectations, and intergenerational trauma. Together, we can slow down with those parts of you, the part that wants to protect your family at all costs, and the part that is done being quiet, and help you find more options than either disappearing or exploding. Therapy can be a place where your Asian and Asian American experiences, your cultural values, your queerness, and your emotions get to exist in the same room.
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That’s okay. Many people I see are the friend everyone relies on or the rock of their family, and it can feel unfamiliar to let someone else support you. We move slowly, at your pace, and pay attention to the parts of you that might need some time to feel comfortable.
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I explicitly name and work with things like the model minority myth, internalized racism, intergenerational trauma, and complex family obligations. I use trauma-informed approaches like EMDR, Internal Family Systems (parts work), and creative arts therapy to help you make sense of what you’re holding in both mind and body.
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A lot of Asian and Asian American clients feel like they’re managing just fine, and that they should be able to handle their problems on their own. In fact, many come to therapy precisely because they are managing “fine”, but something feels off. Therapy can be a space to untangle long-term stress, numbness, people-pleasing, or the quiet feeling that you’re living on autopilot. If you’re tired of holding everything together alone or wondering why you still feel so heavy when life looks “fine” on paper, that’s already enough to bring into the room.
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Over time, many clients develop a clearer sense of their own values, more capacity to set boundaries that don’t require abandoning their culture, and less fear around using their voice. You may notice improvement in burnout and less shutdown, more self-compassion and connection with your body, and a greater sense of choice in how you relate to your family, your community, and yourself.
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Many Asian and AAPI clients come in carrying high achiever fatigue, internalized perfectionism, and the pressure to be the “strong one” at work and at home. Together, we’ll look at where these patterns come from and how they show up in your body and daily life. Using EMDR, IFS/parts work, and culturally responsive therapy, we can soften harsh inner critics, make space for rest without as much guilt, and build a version of success that feels aligned with your values and wishes for your future.
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Therapy can help you notice the roles you’ve been playing in relationships, and understand how they were shaped by your family, culture, and past experiences. We’ll explore how you communicate, what feels threatening (conflict, saying no, naming needs), and what you do to protect yourself, like shutting down or over-accommodating. Over time, you can experiment with new ways of relating: setting boundaries that don’t abandon your values, staying more present in conflict, and allowing yourself to be seen and supported rather than only being the support for everyone else.
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In our first session, we focus on the immediate of what brought you here now. I am happy to take your lead or to offer more questions, depending on where you are. Some of the things I may ask about are your identities, family and cultural background, what you’ve tried before (including past therapy), and what feels most important to shift in your life, while also paying attention to how your nervous system is doing in the moment. There is never a pressure to answer anything you are not ready to. By the end, we’ll check in together about whether it still feels like a mutual fit. I often tell people that while it takes time to build rapport and really feel comfortable in session, you’ll often get a sense in the first few appointments: if you feel like we understand each other, and like you feel safe with me, that is a great starting point.
As a therapist who shares your lived experience, I offer a therapy space where:
your queerness, gender expansiveness, or identity questioning are welcomed and affirmed alongside your cultural and family values, without asking you to choose one over the other
your experiences as an Asian or Asian American person are understood as real forms of racial, cultural, and intergenerational trauma, and not you being “too sensitive”
the model minority myth is unpacked and dismantled, rather than upheld as something you have to keep performing
parts of you that had to learn how to shut down, code-switch, people-please, or overachieve to survive are met with curiosity and compassion, and unburdened through IFS (parts work)
the pressure to be the one who “has it all together” is explored as a survival strategy, not a personal flaw
your values, boundaries, and hopes for the future are honored as we work towards a life that feels more spacious, connected, and authentic to you
In our work together, you can expect to:
develop a clearer understanding of your values, and where they overlap with or differ from your family and culture of origin
build practical tools to navigate anxiety, burnout, and high-achiever pressure in ways that fir your nervous system and your day-to-day routine
experience a reduced sense of danger around speaking out for your beliefs and values, so using your voice feels more possible
heal intergenerational, racial, and immigration-related trauma
soften inner critics, perfectionism, impostor syndrome, and people-pleasing behaviors through IFS (parts work)
learn how to set and hold boundaries with family, work, and community while staying connected to your culture, chosen family, and your beliefs
approach difficult emotions from a place of curiosity rather than self-blame or shutdown
improve communication and conflict resolution skills in relationships, including around queerness, gender, mental health, and family expectations